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Dog Diaries

Prince Frecklebum, Greyhound Detective: The Case of the Missing House

by Ron Powell
My name is Prince Frecklebum, Greyhound Detective. I wasn't always a detective. I was a racer once, before I retired. My track name was Occam's Razor of Lightspeed Doom. You can call me Prince. Most of the humans around these parts do.

It's been an eventful couple of days. I just solved the Case of the Missing House. It took me a while, but I done it. I even managed to get all the humans in the house to help me, this time! Their training is coming along, I just wish it wasn't so gosh darned time consuming. it seems like just yesterday...

...Dad was bringing in groceries from the garage. That's where they keep my food and the big wheely thing they use to go get me more food. I was in the kitchen, watching to see if Dad remembered to bring me some treats. One one trip through he left the gate and the door to the garage open. That's as good as an invitation, so I trotted out there. I hopped up in the back of the big wheely thing. They need a bigger one, cuz there wasn't enough room for me and the bags of stuff. That's ok, though, I just knocked some of the bags out of the way. When I turned around, I realized he left the big, big door open to the outside. What the heck, Mom's flowers look a little dry and there's probably some missing holes in the flowerbed, so I take a quick trip outside.

I watered the flowers, put some new holes in place and sniffed around the yard for a minute. Then, Mr. Rabbit clearly wanted to play. I know this because he looked at me and ran the other way. What's a Greyhound Detective to do? I HAD to run after him. We ran together for a long time. The wind rushing past my ears, flying through the air, sunshine, green grass... these are things a Greyhound lives for! Finally, we decided it was time to stop running. Boy, was I thirsty! I figured I'd just go home and get a drink when I realized someone stole the house! Ok, I decided I wasn't going to panic, but for the first time in my career as a Greyhound Detective, I was really, really worried about my family. 

I didn't recognize anything around me. There weren't any humans around to ask for help. Nothing even smelled slightly familiar. Having no real plan, I found a nice grassy spot near some trees to lie down in. It was early in the day, yet, so plenty of time to figure out where the house went. As I was contemplating what to do next, I heard a whole bunch of big wheely things. Knowing that you find humans in big wheely things, I thought maybe I'd go ask one for help. A short trot through the woods (I marked a few spots along the way to help get back) and I found a big road with lots and lots of wheely things. After a short time standing by the side of the road, I decided that the humans on this side of the road were rude because they wouldn't stop to help and maybe the humans on the other side were nicer. I made it to the other side, but you have never heard such noises as the wheely things made while I was crossing. As luck would have it, the humans on the other side were just as mean. I made it back ok, but the mean humans didn't even try to stop for me. Good thing I'm fast. I went back to my soft spot to think. 

I hate to admit it, but I was too scared to move around much, so I spent the night in the soft spot. I don't mind camping out so much, but I missed my family. I hope whoever stole the house returns them when I find it. The soft spot was no where near as nice as my bed (that Mom and Dad share with me). My food bowl was gone. It was dark and cold and I really missed my house and family. It even rained a little bit. If Greyhound Detectives could be sad, I suppose I would have been. I wasn't whining, mind you, I was just singing softly to myself to pass the time. Honest.

When the sun came up, I decided if the road wasn't full of nice humans, maybe the other way would be. I trotted along for a few hours. I finally found some houses, but none of them were mine. I took a quick potty break on a nearby tree and guess what I saw! A picture of a really, really good looking greyhound! In fact, he looked a lot like me, lucky devil! 

Well, there was nothing to it but to do it, so I kept trotting along. I kept seeing more and more of those handsome greyhound pictures. These people really must like greyhounds around here! That was a good sign if you ask me. Oh look! There were two humans talking. I bet they'd like to have some greyhound time! I trotted over to them and they looked so happy! The guy patted my head and grabbed my little collar with the dangly janglies on it. He looked right at the lady and said, "Well, gee, Mrs. O'Leary, it's him!" The little lady looked at the guy in the weird shirt with stripes on it and said, "Well, Seargant Pepper, sir, you hold on to him and I'll get my phone!" She came back with a bowl of water and a treat or two. Mrs. O'Leary and Sergeant Pepper stayed with me a good long time. You will not believe what happened next! My family drove up in our big wheely thing! I was so happy to see them. After they chatted a while with Mrs. O'Leary and Seargant Pepper, they opened the back door to the wheely thing, I jumped in and we went off in search of the house. We found it pretty quickly after that. All our stuff was still there, the bed, the food bowl, the back yard - we found it all! That must be why the humans were so happy in the car. It just goes to show you the power of teamwork and a good greyhound leader!

I hate to brag, but even though this is one of the hardest and longest cases I have ever worked, it's nothing more than you can expect from Prince Frecklebum, Greyhound detective.

Greyhounds aren't just dogs, they are a way of life!