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Dog Diaries

The Case of the Donut Disappearance

by Ron Powell

~~My name is Prince Frecklebum, Greyhound Detective. I wasn't always a detective. I was a racer once, before I retired. My track name was Occam's Razor of Lightspeed Doom. You can call me Prince. Most of the humans around these parts do.

Snoring over there is my trusty partner, Lady. She's my cousin and just about the best Detective partner you could wish for.

"I. Do. NOT. snore!"

When she's not snoring, or stealing my treats or hogging up my spot on the couch or not letting Mom give me any attention or...


As I said, she's pretty swell. Most times. Anyway, this morning started out pretty standard. Lady was snoring...

"PRINCE!", laying on the big bed with Mom and Dad while I had my pick of comfy beds on the floor. I don't mind the floor. Sometimes Dad makes it a little hard to sleep way up there and Lady doesn't have my refined sense of smell, so it all works out. Anyway, it wasn't quite time to get up when...

"Honey!" Dad's voice roared through the house. I cracked one sleepy eye cracked open. Dad sure was happy about something. You can tell from the big sounds he makes. I figured it didn't have much to do with me, so I rolled over to get the blood flowing to my brains. Sooo niiiiice....

"I had a whole pack of donuts down here. What happened to them?"

"I don't know, I thought they were on the counter last night!"

"Well, so did I but they didn't just eat themselves now, did they???" Dad continued to make loud noises and bang on doors and stuff for a while. Eventually, mom muttered some bad words and went downstairs to help him.

I perked up a little. It seems a crime had taken place. Solving crimes is what I do, being a Greyhound Detective and all. First thing to do was survey the crime scene and look for clues. I trotted down to the kitchen and didn't really see anything out of place. There were a few tell tale crumbs (which were super yummy) but no donuts. Which made me sad. I like donuts.

Dad and mom began to search in earnest so I decided to take stock of the usual suspects. The kids rooms were "clean." They didn't smell that way, but there sure weren't any donuts around. I made sure to sniff their faces real good, to make sure they weren't hiding them in their cheeks or something. Boy were they happy to see me. Such wonderful big noises they make.

Anyway, I could tell Lady was up because I didn't hear her snoring any more.


So, I enlisted her aid in looking around the house for the missing donuts. We searched high and low but we just didn't find anything.

"By 'high and low' you mean the couch and your dog bowl?"

Well, duh, what else would I mean??

Anyway, I made sure to check the flowerbed (so dry and way too few holes) and question the rabbit (at high speed) and I looked in the birdbath and under the porch and stuff, but no donuts. Which is really sad, because I really wanted a donut and I was hoping to find them so I could...

"Take them all for yourself?"

...make sure they were safe for Dad to eat. I'm very concerned about his health, you know.

When we made our way back inside, Mom and Dad were questioning the kids. They had the sort of innocent look that only angels and hardened criminals posses. They stood firm under questioning. You had to admire their resolve. Eventually Dad gave in and let them head off to school for the day. He gathered his things and went out the door himself. He must have been upset because he didn't even rub my butt before he went out the door. That's just not right. I'll have to keep working the case so he can get back to being his old, burrito sharing, greyhound butt rubbing self again!

Later that day, just before Dad was due home, Lady and I went out for a potty break.



"I notice that you left some plastic wrapper behind."

Oh, yeah? I wonder how that happened. I mean, sure, while you were sleeping last night, I nudged open the bedroom door to do a perimeter check (it being in my job description). You know what? I found and rescued some donuts that tragically fell to the floor in the kitchen last night. After someone nudged them off the counter with their nose while checking for bad guys. Say, you don't think Dad was talking about THOSE donuts, do you?

"Oh, Prince."

Yeah, you're right. He said he left his on the counter. These were floor donuts. Definitely not the same ones. You really are getting smart since I keep making your brain grow with all the stuffs I teach you all the time.

"Prince? You're going to get in lots of trouble for this, you know!"

Why would I get in trouble just because I found some donuts on the floor? You know what? I'll bet the floor donuts kidnapped Dad's donuts and then tried to get away but I found and, er, apprehended them before they could excape the long nose of the law! Wow, Lady, you were such a big help with this case! Thank you, so much!

"Me?? I had nothing to do with this. You stole the Donuts, not me."

I didn't steal anything. Those fugitive donuts clearly jumped off the counter all by themselves! Don't worry, though, kid. I'm not taking all the credit. Mom and Dad will know you helped me. Now, I'm so glad I used your usual spot this afternoon.


[10 minutes later]


And so, having done my part to keep the house safe from criminals of all shapes, sizes and flavors, I solved the Case of the Donut Disappearance.











Greyhounds aren't just dogs, they are a way of life!